Why Achievements Alone Won’t Make You Happy—and What Actually Will

Time in nature has been a priority success metric for me | Summer walks on the Isle of Wight

What does success mean to you?

For many of us, success has been defined by metrics we’ve inherited rather than chosen—grades, promotions, pay raises, awards, or the elusive “work-life balance.” On paper, these achievements suggest fulfillment. But what happens when they leave you feeling burned out, disconnected, or unhappy?

I’ve been there.

For years, I followed the well-worn path of success, ticking off milestones and striving for external validation. I was thriving in my career and living a life that looked ideal from the outside. But deep down, I felt like I was running on empty—trapped in a cycle of what Nicola Hobbs calls joyless striving.

As a person who’s grown up between cultures, I am used to adapting, code-switching and working twice as hard to prove my place. But over time, I realised this constant effort to “fit in” and achieve wasn’t leaving space for the one thing I truly wanted: a life that felt at ease. Where I could let my guard down and just be…me.

Rethinking the Metrics

I felt like I was swept up in what was “normal” but at some point, I stopped and asked myself:

• What am I measuring my life by?

• Do these measures reflect what truly matters to me?

The truth was, my metrics weren’t meaningful anymore. They weren’t aligned with my values, passions, or the kind of life I wanted to build. I had been living a life measured by others’ definitions of success and it felt like so many people around me were doing the same.

This was a pivotal realisation—and the first step toward intentional change.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re striving toward goals that don’t resonate, I want you to know this: It’s possible to rewrite and personalise your metrics of success. You can choose measures that reflect your values, bring you joy, and make life feel deeply fulfilling. Even if you’re “going against the grain” in your communities.

Looking at Life as a Whole

The first step to redefining success is to look at your life holistically. Where are you thriving? Where do you feel stuck or unfulfilled? Often, we focus so heavily on one area of life—usually work, because it offers a validating structure for achievement—that other aspects get overlooked.

This is where tools like the Wheel of Life can be transformative. It’s a simple yet powerful way to assess your life as a whole and identify where you might want to make shifts. It’s not about fixing everything at once—it’s about gaining clarity on what truly matters and taking small, intentional steps toward it.

From “Destinational” to “Directional” Living

For years, I equated achievement with happiness. But here’s the thing: Success, in the traditional sense, doesn’t guarantee fulfilment. That’s why it’s so important to shift from what Megan Hellerer calls “destinational living”—chasing rigid, predetermined outcomes in a 5 year plan—to directional living.

Directional living invites us to see life as a series of unfolding experiments. Instead of striving for one specific goal, we explore what feels meaningful, joyful, and authentic to us. We test, learn, and adjust along the way.

This mindset shift has been transformational for me. It has freed me from the pressure to have everything figured out and gives me permission to live with curiosity, creativity, and intention.

An Invitation to Redesign Your Life

If you’re ready to break free from joyless striving and start designing a life that feels aligned with who you are, I’d love to support you.

On February 14th, I’m hosting a free workshop: The Wheel of Life—The First Step to Creating Your Life Blueprint to show you how you can get started. 

We’ll explore how to take a holistic view of your life, identify what’s meaningful to you, and reflect on measures of success informed by your most precious currency - your time.

This workshop is the perfect starting point if you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or simply ready to make a change. 

Let’s take the first step toward a life that feels fulfilling, joyful, and authentically yours.

Sign up for the free workshop or book a discovery call if you’re ready to dive deeper and find out discover how I can support you.

Because life isn’t a destination—it’s an unfolding. Let’s embrace it, one experiment at a time.