Rest Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Leadership Skill
Why Rest Feels So Hard for High Achievers
High achievers struggle with rest—not because they’re lazy, but because they’re wired for action. You know you should take breaks, but the moment you step away, that little voice creeps in: ⚡ Am I falling behind? Will I disappoint someone? I've got so much to do.
The struggle isn’t just about time management—it’s about deeply ingrained patterns in how we approach work, success, and self-worth. Annie Wright identifies three common leadership patterns that show how our attachment styles show up at work:
🏆 The Anxious Achiever – constantly striving, seeking validation, struggling to take feedback in stride. How they see rest: Rest feels like slacking, and busyness feels like proof of worth.
❤️ The Fearful Caretaker – people-pleasing, over-functioning to maintain harmony. How they see rest: Setting boundaries feels selfish, and saying no feels like letting people down.
🔒 The Avoidant Powerhouse – hyper-independent, struggles to trust or delegate. How they see rest: Rest feels unsafe because if I don’t do it, who will?
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone.
But here’s the truth: Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership skill. 🧠
Prioritising rest leads to improved cognitive function, 🎯 better problem-solving, and 💡 greater adaptability—key attributes of effective leaders. Rest isn’t just about relaxation; it actively strengthens leadership abilities. Your ability to sustain success depends on how well you protect your energy.
Learning to Say No: My Path to Guilt-Free Rest
For a long time, making space for rest felt impossible because I struggled to say no—without guilt. As someone who often took on a caretaker role, both at home and at work, I found it hard to prioritise my own need for rest. I worried that saying no would make me seem less committed, unprofessional, or like I didn’t care. But when I unpacked my anxiety, I realised it wasn’t about the no itself—it was about how I feared others would perceive it.
The breakthrough came when I developed a way to clarify my intentions upfront, expressing why I couldn’t say yes while still reinforcing my commitment. The hardest time was the first time. But after that, it got easier, and over time, I let go of the guilt. Learning to say no helped me create the space I needed to rest—without feeling like I was letting others down.
Five Practical Ways to Create Rest & Boundaries—Without Guilt
Redefine Rest as a Success Strategy
High performance isn’t about doing more—it’s about sustaining energy for what matters most. Elite athletes build in recovery time because they know it makes them stronger and improves performance.
Start Small: Micro-Rest Practices
If full days off feel impossible, start with micro-rest: a 10-minute walk between meetings, deep breaths before responding to emails, or even setting a rule to eat lunch away from your desk. Small pauses add up.
Set “Non-Negotiables” for Boundaries
Choose 1–2 things you protect no matter what. Examples: No work emails after 7 PM. Blocking a 30-minute break mid-day. A weekend activity that’s just for you. Put it in your calendar and commit like you would to a work meeting.
Challenge the Guilt with a Reframe
Instead of thinking “I should be working”, try “By resting now, I show up better later.” Rest isn’t stealing time—it’s an investment in your clarity, leadership, and well-being.
Practice Delegation (Especially for Avoidant Powerhouses!)
If you struggle to trust others, start with small hand-offs. Let a team member lead a meeting. Ask for help at home. Every time you delegate, you prove to yourself that things don’t fall apart without you.
Your Success Isn’t Measured by Exhaustion
By shifting your relationship with rest and boundaries, you’re not just taking care of yourself—you’re setting a new standard for what sustainable success looks like.
💬 Reflection: How do you navigate rest and boundaries? What’s worked (or not worked) for you?
